The Kirkstyle Inn and Sportsman's Rest, Slaggyford, CA8

Date: December 2023

I would like to begin this review by acknowledging that I am not the first critic to visit this pub or gastropub or restaurant or whatever mix of those it is. I have been beaten to it by esteemed Guardian restaurant reviewer, Grace Dent of Cumbria. 

However, please be assured dear Reader that this blog is in no way derivative of that review and will not proceed to make all the same observations and jokes in a desperate attempt to piggyback off the clout of someone much more famous than I, and finally push this page beyond the 10 views per post mark. 

In fact, I will absolutely refuse to accept any accusations of copycatting in the comments. After all, how are any potential foodies, or even those who “just want fish and chips” (Dent, 2023), supposed to know what to wash down their Berkswell sheep’s mousse with if no one is going to evaluate the options?

The Kirkstyle Inn is in a place called Slaggyford in Northumberland. I came here with a couple of friends after a day’s hiking around the town of Alston, just a few miles south. One of the guys I was with was actually asked whether we were going to Slaggyford just for its name. No, I don’t get it either. We were going for the food, silly. And the lime and soda too, obviously. 

The pub has been here since the 18th century and is situated in the pretty spectacular surroundings of the North Pennines. Not to delve too much into my own origin story but, despite growing up not too far away in Newcastle, I had never really been to the North Pennines until I moved back here as an adult. It’s an epic place. Rugged, bleak, a bit hostile but fantastically empty and incredibly beautiful when the rain isn’t smashing you sideways in the face.

On the day we went, there had been snowfall and the view outside the pub window was incredible; rolling hills lightly dusted with white snow. Inside the fire was roaring and the conversation flowing. Quite the setting.

Grace Dent isn’t wrong, the food is fantastic. I do actually recommend the Berkswell sheep’s mousse, it’s very creamy. Well worth it after a long hike. 

None of this is really relevant to this blog though so how about we get to the good bit?

                             A refresher and a reward

Appearance: The lime and soda here doesn’t need a pint glass. It is served in an eloquent highball glass as though it were an exquisite cocktail, transporting you from Slaggyford to St. Kitts and Nevis or somewhere similarly tropical. It glinted with green cordial, evenly distributed among the soda and came with fresh lime as standard, but what else would you expect of a critically acclaimed restaurant? Beautifully executed. 

Taste: It was supremely refreshing. A subtle bouquet of fresh and cordial lime flowering on the tongue. It didn’t require a stir but I did it anyway and that merely enhanced the flavour. A drink to accompany any dish, whether rabbit terrine or steak and chips. 

Price: £1.50, which isn’t bad really. Appealing to both the Top 50 Gastropubs set and those who just love a good country boozer. A price befitting a pub which offers a top class three course meal for just £30.

To borrow a phrase, this pub is definitely worth the detour for. I’d recommend a trip to this part of the North Pennines in general. Come, hike the hills, eat the food, drink a refreshing lime and soda then try not to fall asleep with satisfaction on the drive home. The perfect day. 

So there you have it, a totally original blog, not at all plagiarised. To prove it, I’ve posted a link to Grace Dent’s review below so you can compare notes (thanks Grace for the inspiration xoxo).

https://www.theguardian.com/food/2023/jul/07/kirkstyle-inn-slaggyford-northumberland-grace-dent-restaurant-review 

Sunday night poem

It's been an interesting time recently. There are potential upcoming changes in my life, adding to the period of change that 2023 has been for me so far. With change, and thoughts about change, come decisions and, for me at least, thoughts about decisions. Often incessant thoughts about decisions. Apparently it's called rumination and I'm no stranger to it. 

Change often means leaving something behind or giving something up, hopefully for the better. However, my experience of change has not always felt like that. 

I wrote this poem about that and I'm sharing it here because I think it's become relevant in my life again. Happy Sunday. 

I just want you back, maybe

Or not at all

Can’t decide which one to choose

So looks like it’s your call

I know it was me who uttered the fatal words

"Hey, we need to talk"

Now a few months down the line

I just can't walk that walk

Nor can I stay on the road

That we were trundling down

I knew then something had to change

Has it happened now?

I’m almost sure that I’m still the same

As I was those months ago

And even now I feel like crap

I think I still have some hope

That we might be the ones for us

We can build a happy life

That you’re the mother of my kids

Maybe even my wife

But nagging doubt it still persists

It is forever there

Like my reckless indecision

It haunts me year on year.

Poetry for a Friday afternoon

I said it was coming and then posted another lime and soda review just to be controversial but finally here it is, some creative writing. Starting with two poems I wrote about very different Friday afternoons I have had this year. 

Read, enjoy, please don't laugh.

Friday 1

Thatched roof

Sunshine

Green grass

Fine wine

South Coast

Holiday

Real life

Getaway

Friday 2

Sunshine Friday

Stuck inside

Work laptop on the desk

Tea stains on the carpet 

Is this really me at my best?

The Artisan, Belfast City Airport, BT3

 

Date: July 2023

I sat in Belfast City Airport, hungover, alongside a couple of friends, awaiting our flight back to Newcastle after a weekend at an Irish Quaker wedding. 

We had had quite the adventure on the journey into deepest darkest Northern Ireland, fuelled as it was by pints of Guinness, eventful bus journeys and lashings of celebration. 

I have attended several weddings over the last few years and they have often left me with mixed feelings. On the one hand, I am delighted for the happy couple, as they make the ultimate public declaration of love and commitment. On the other I am usually a bit taken aback by the performance of it all; the ceremony, the speeches, the first dance and cake cutting. It always seems rather overwhelming and often leaves me wondering if this is really for me.

However, with increasing frequency I have been attending the weddings of those in my closest circle of friends. This has caused me to reflect on my somewhat cynical attitude to weddings. Watching on as those nearest and dearest to me beam with joy as they expose the most vulnerable aspects of their person in front of hundreds of people in order to be explicit about the love they feel for their chosen partner (and all of my friends have wonderful partners) never fails to stir the emotions.

Seeing my friends put themselves out there for love has helped me realise that putting oneself out there for the things and the people you care about is one of the bravest acts a person can take. Regardless of the pomp and ceremony that may surround it, these simple acts of presence and declaration are important. 

As I stared at the departure board in that airport, my mind wandered back to the previous day. Sat in a Quaker meeting house together with over a hundred other silent souls, staring out the window to branches of the emerald green trees swaying in the wind and swirling rain, I couldn't helped but be moved by it all. 

Of course that was the wedding bit, the reception was a different story... Hence the need for a rehydrating lime and soda just before boarding the plane back to paracetamol and bed. 

Appearance: It looked better than the photo suggests. It was a free pour and the lime cordial flowed generously through the bubbles of the soda water, creating the perfect translucent lens for distorting the hard Irish rain hitting the window of the terminal building. 

Taste: A bit like my own experience of the weekend (weddings are emotional events, after all) it was a little bittersweet. Not that it was tasty or refreshing but the cordial was a little sour and perhaps not as full bodied as the appearance had me believing. Nevertheless it was refreshing.

Price: £5.50 for two, which is a little steep but, then again, it is an airport bar and there was nowhere else to go. 

A lime and soda which nourished the body much like love and time with good friends. Worth a trip for. 

A pint of life please, hold the soda

 Well, it’s been three years. I’m not sure what else to say, really. 

As per my assumption in the previous post, we did indeed get through it, but now I’m left wondering where we’ve ended up getting through it to. The new normal as it used to be called. 

The Covid-19 pandemic may be fading away but it’s not like the world is without its share of problems. Last summer, temperatures reached over 40 degrees in the UK! This summer, wildfires rage across Southern Europe while England drowns in endless rain. Is this the start of the next big catastrophe to come? Don’t ask me, I blog about lime and soda. 

The war in Ukraine continues to cause unnecessary hardship and suffering for those still living and fighting there, as well as the millions of refugees who have fled for safer pastures. More broadly, the war has sparked a global food crisis and an energy crisis in Europe, where the cost of heating homes has risen to levels beyond which many people can afford. 

The UK, not to be outdone by Europe, has had its own idiosyncratic issues. Since I last wrote here, we’ve had three Prime Ministers. The first finally went a scandal too far, the second decided to take a flamethrower to economic orthodoxy and ended up crashing the economy. She may have lasted just 44 days, but many here are still paying for it. The third Prime Minister hasn’t really done a great deal to be fair. He does just seem to be waiting to be told he needs to leave, so that’s something.

All of this is to say that a lot can happen in 3 years.

I must confess, I haven’t had many lime and sodas in that time. I haven’t written much either. I’ve thought about it a lot. I’ve thought about having a lime and soda but have instead ordered a beer, I’ve thought about blogging and have even promised guest blogs to friends but I have never followed up. This has left me wondering what, if anything, I should do with this blog.

So I’ve decided to pivot a little. I’m not saying that lime and soda reviews are no more but they will appear less frequently in the running order of posts on here. Much like the endless problems of the so-called permacrisis, lime and soda will be but one feature among many which appear on this page. 

I have some things I’ve written over the years, or things I would like to write, that I’ve never found an outlet for and I feel that this is best place to put them. They’re more green grass than green lime but I’m hoping that they’ll serve the same purpose. To refresh and rehydrate this page and perhaps the minds of those who stumble across it. A pint of life as opposed to a pint of lime and soda, if you will. 

I hope you enjoy. 

Diet Life and no soda

It’s been a while since my last post on this blog and I’m sure there are no surprises as to why that is. As I sit here writing this on Sunday 2nd August 2020, it’s been nearly 19 weeks since the ‘lockdown’ in the UK began (my apologies to Prime Minister Johnson and co. who may protest otherwise, but I’m counting 23 March as the start date) and just over four weeks since the pubs reopened. I hope I can be forgiven for having limited my trips to the pub since reopening and, when I have mustered the courage to expose myself to the ‘invisible mugger’ that has been patrolling this country’s crowded places, for having opted for something a little bit stronger than lime and soda to get me through.

Covid-19 has, for want of a better phrase, fucked a lot of shit up. And I’m one of the lucky ones. I’ve had a job, somewhere to live and stayed healthy throughout all of this so far. Others have been a lot less fortunate. Right now the world doesn’t really need another lime and soda blogger to give the latest hot take on what’s good and what’s not in the world of cordial and fizzy water. At times, it feels like we need a miracle. Speaking personally, I'd also settle for competent leadership and a sense of togetherness.

I will spare you lengthy reviews for now and for the foreseeable future. At least until I have carried out enough of my government assigned ‘patriotic duty’ of pumping my wages into the flailing British consumer economy by sitting in freezing cold beer gardens on rainy English summer evenings, gulping down pints of lager mass produced by companies who need my financial assistance about as much as my two pint hangover needs me to commute into the office ever again.

It feels like we’re living a half-life at the moment, a diet life if you will. We can still do a lot of things we used to do: shopping (wear a mask!), eating out (at the time of writing a Big Mac is £1.60 thanks to the Chancellor), travel (besides to Spain, Luxembourg or most other countries in the world), going to the gym (if you don’t mind becoming a semi-professional cleaner whilst you’re there) and visiting a friend's place (unless, as of two days ago, you live in most of North West of England) but none of it is as enjoyable as before, or at least not as easy.

It’s as though we’ve all walked into a pub, gone up to the bar and ordered a pint of the green stuff, hoping to be refreshed, and been told that there’s only sugar free cordial and the soda is off because that morning’s delivery never arrived. The delivery driver was off sick.

I assume we’re going to get through this but assumptions are worth even less at the moment than in better times. I would also like to assume that there are some people, unlike myself, who have resisted temptation and stayed loyal to the nation's favourite non-alcoholic beverage during the difficult past few months. So here's to you, the loyal lime and soda drinkers.

Cheers and stay safe.

The Lord John Russell, Bloomsbury, WC1N

I spent last weekend in London catching up with old friends. It was the first time I'd been to a pub in a while. With Dry January now a memory, I have to confess that I chose to celebrate these mini-reunions with beer rather than lime and sodas. 

As London is a city filled with great pubs and diverse lime and sodas, I wanted to mark this trip to the greatest city in the world with an old review of one of my favourite London pubs, the Lord John Russell.

Date: February 2017

I have a bit of an affinity with this pub. It’s a pub I had often passed making my way around the area as a student at nearby UCL Maybe I had a pint there once in that time, I can’t remember. It was just a place that was always there. However, a forgettable pint in a pub is not enough to build an affinity with a place.

My affection for the place actually comes from a few years after I had graduated whilst I was working in the area. It wasn’t the ‘work boozer’ - that was a place closer to the office called The Resting Hare (review coming soon) - but we did come to the Lord John Russell when we fancied a change. It was my preferred place of the two. It’s a proper pub.

I remember fondly having Christmas drinks there with some colleagues after we had all finished our last day in the office before the holiday shutdown. It was mostly the young ‘uns who made it out on that damp December night but the finance officer, affectionately known (mostly by myself) as Uncle Nev, came out with us too. He was probably a good twenty years older than all of us but fit in seamlessly, sampling all the ales on offer. He even let us have a drink on the company credit card. It was quite the night and I left with a smile on my face, ready to face the coming festivities.

I was a little less ready upon being woken up by my relatives at 3am to get into the car for the 6 hour car journey up North to visit family. I dread to think what Uncle Nev had to face that morning given he had two young children.

Now for a bit about the pub. John Russell, the first Earl Russell, was a British Prime Minister who served in the post on two occasions between 1846-52 (as a Whig) and then again between 1865-66 (as a Liberal). Apparently he wasn’t very successful, being the final ever Whig PM and nearly bringing the Liberal party to the political brink. On a more positive note, however, he was one of the principle leaders in fighting for the Reform Act of 1832, which brought in changes to the British electoral system by removing the so called ‘rotten boroughs’. A victory for democracy. After all the hard politicking, Lord John probably needed a refreshing drink to cool himself off. I wonder if lime and soda was his tipple of choice too.

I have no idea if the Lord John Russell the pub is named after this former British politician - pubhistory can’t help me out on that one - but what I did find out was that it’s been on Marchmont Street for quite some time: since the mid-19th century in fact. The first publican was himself also called John Russell, which gives us some idea as to how the pub got its name.

The only time I ever drank a lime and soda here was not at an after work booze up but on a hungover Sunday with some friends who were visiting the capital for the weekend. Whilst waiting for them to catch their trains, we decided to pop in for a drink. I could face neither a beer nor a bloody Mary so, naturally, I opted for the usual in such circumstances.

Appearance: It was a bit yellow. I don’t know whether the lime cordial was created out of limes that were slightly old - hence the yellowish colour - or even if lime cordial contains any trace of real lime, but this was slightly off putting. To give the drink its due it did look well mixed and the cordial seemed to run evenly all the way through. It was even garnished with a slice of lime, affording it bonus points.

Taste: It was a bit underwhelming. The soda water was a bit flat and the initial appearance of it being a well mixed drink was unfounded. I had to go up to the bar and request a straw to use as a mixer. Once mixed it was much better. There was a tang to the cordial.  My non lime and soda drinking mates described the taste as ‘bold’ and ‘pleasantly surprising for a newbie’. I suppose these are compliments, although one of them did say it was ‘just fizzy lime juice’, which essentially boils lime and soda down to its purest essence.

Price: £2 for a pint. Maybe a bit steep for a pub that is usually quite good value, especially for the area but then again they do have rent to pay.

So maybe that pre-Sunday dinner drink in the Lord John didn’t leave me with that Christmas time smile. Then again I would probably put that down to the fact I was nursing a bad hangover on a cold Sunday afternoon rather than blame the quality of the drink. If you’re in Bloomsbury and looking for a perfectly serviceable glass of fizzy lime juice, this might be the place for you. 

Wikipedia article on John Russell, the first Earl Russell: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Russell,_1st_Earl_Russell

More information on the Great Reform Act of 1832: 

http://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/education/politics/g6/

Pub history entry of the Lord John Russell: https://pubshistory.com/LondonPubs/StPancras/LordJohnRussell.shtml