Make mine a lime and soda

I woke up feeling groggy. It was New Year's Day 2019 and I was hungover. Again. 

My hangovers normally consist of the same things as other hangovers: sore head, dry mouth, aching body, queasy tummy. Most of us are familiar with the drill. It has been that way for most of my drinking life. Recently however, I have noticed the presence of something new in my hungover consciousness: existential dread. This is an emotional reaction and involves things like replaying all the things I did and conversations I had from the night before, cringing with deep embarrassment, feeling like I need to apologise to everyone I know and ultimately coming to the conclusion that I'm an arsehole. This feeling - the existential dread - lasts for the rest of the day and then subsides until the next time I'm hungover, which is normally about a week later on the next available weekend morning.

To avoid beginning and ending my weekends in this sorry state, I have sometimes initiated periods of self imposed sobriety. Although remaining teetotal can often start out quite difficult, especially on a Friday evening after a week of work, I usually appreciate going a while without a drink. Such experiences have brought my attention to many things: the effects of alcohol on other people, the isolation of being the only person on a night out not drinking, the importance of alcohol in the social fabric of our culture, the simple joy in waking up on a Saturday or Sunday morning without that feeling of physical and emotional discomfort.

However, perhaps the one thing I became most aware of is the frequency with which I go to places like pubs and bars, where alcohol is the main focus. They’re where I celebrate special occasions, where I meet my friends after work or where I might choose to watch a big football match. Going to these places when you're not drinking means you become pretty familiar with the variety of the non-alcoholic drinks on offer. It’s all the usual suspects: coke, lemonade and sometimes a non-alcoholic beer. Each trip to a licensed establishment becomes an exercise in deciding which of these staples to drink rather than the usual pint. 

There's only so much coke or lemonade I can drink. They’re so sweet that it’s impossible to match drink for drink with your friends who have chosen an alcoholic tipple. Unless, of course, you want to be bouncing off the walls, induce early onset diabetes and rot your teeth all in the name of a big one. I also tend to drink these drinks so quickly that I’m left sitting there an empty glass for most of the night, which feels a bit sad. Non-alcoholic beer can also be problematic for the non-drinker. Whilst the variety and quality does seem to be improving, it is far from a safe bet in many places. Most pubs do have an option now but it's not always the best (see: Becks Blue).The bonus of a non-alcoholic beer for me is that I can drink it more slowly than a coke but again, after a couple, what's the point? I don’t feel any different other than a bit bloated. 

This used to leave me wondering what exactly I could or should order at the bar when I wasn’t drinking. What else was there on offer for the non-drinker in the UK's bars and pubs? Of course, in my naive sobriety I had missed the obvious answer. Sitting on the button of the bar gun and the shelf behind the bar, right in front of me all along. A drink rooted in the history and culture of Britain's teetotalers and occasional non-drinkers alike. A timeless classic. Nothing other than a lime and soda. 

What is a lime and soda? Well, it’s pretty simple. It’s soda water mixed with a bit of lime cordial and sometimes topped with a fresh slice of lime. It's makes for the perfect non-alcoholic pub beverage. It's easy to make, not as sugary as a conventional soft drink, pretty cheap, low calorie and offers the perfect taste balance between being palatable enough to drink but rank enough to stop you downing it in seconds. 

In spite of it’s apparent simplicity, my experiences of ordering lime and soda in bars and pubs have proven to be anything but simple. What I have discovered whilst ordering this in establishments across the country is just how varied a drink it can be. If you think you need to go to a craft beer place, tap room or wine bar for a full variety of beverages for your Friday night drink, I challenge you to order a lime and soda at every stop on your pub crawl instead. You’ll get an idea of what I mean. Sometimes it even varies in the same place with each new order! It’s the drink to give you an enthralling experience for those sober sessions.

What kind of variety am I talking about you ask? Quality and price are the standout variables but I’ve had it served to me in a range of ways, in differing quantities and have even once had to tell a bartender how to make it. 

I’ll start with quality. I’ll go out on a limb here and say that there is no standard lime and soda. Some places mix their lime and sodas well and others just dump all the ingredients in a glass and see what happens. Some places use cordial that tastes of lime and others appear to use cordial that leaves you questioning the competence of the Food Standards Agency to have passed it fit for human consumption. Think a chemical aftertaste akin to licking the bench of your school science lab. In fact there are even some places that use no lime cordial at all, instead presenting you with a glass of soda water with optional slice of fresh lime.

Then there’s price. There can be few other consumer products that vary so wildly in price as a lime and soda. As far as I know, lime cordial is not a substance that must be extracted from the ground through complex processes of engineering, therefore making it vulnerable to changes in supply level. Nor, to my knowledge, are either of the main component parts of a lime and soda traded as commodities and consequently subject to the forces of the market. I’m happy to be corrected on this of course but until I am, I will always be left wondering why the price of lime and soda can differ so greatly from place to place. To give you an idea, I have sometimes paid absolutely nothing for a lime and soda but then paid nearly £3 somewhere else. Even in the same pub I have paid two different prices for two different lime and sodas, and it’s not just me that seems to have this problem either. Doing a little research I found these articles from people who’ve had the same problem:

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/drinkers-face-ripoff-prices-for-lime-and-soda-as-pubs-cash-in-on-dry-january-a3165791.html 

https://www.weeklygripe.co.uk/why-is-lime-and-soda-so-expensive-at-the-pub

It’s utter madness.

In spite of all this uncertainty, lime and soda remains my preferred non-alcoholic pub order. I’ve had quite the journey of discovery so far drinking it, and that is in essence what this blog is about.

I’ll be posting reviews of the different lime and soda experiences I’ve had at all the bars and pubs I’ve been to when not drinking alcohol. I’ll try to weave in a bit about the pub or bar along with an assessment of the drink and I may even throw in some tidbits about what I was doing there on there particular occasion I’m writing about. It’s my life through lime and soda.

As I don’t intend to spend the next few years of my life deliberately visiting licensed venues just to sample their version of the nation’s favourite ‘mocktail’ this is very much an as-and-when it happens thing. Sometimes there might be a lot to write about and other times less so. I have some reviews I’ve written about the lime and sodas I’ve drank over the past couple of years since I started this adventure so some of the entries might be a bit dated now. I am however currently a few days into dry January so there’s a good chance there’ll be some more recent reviews coming soon.

You’ll get an insight into what I, an occasional non-drinker who’s had more than my fair share of lime and sodas, value about the drink and how I like it to be served. But, whether you’re a lime and soda drinker or not, do not take my word as gospel. I am not some sort of lime and soda messiah come to enlighten bartenders and drinkers alike. My criteria for what makes a good a lime and soda might be different from yours. Remember that these are just my thoughts about a soft drink and, no matter how culturally important this beverage is and how controversial you think my opinions are, there’s no need to get rowdy in the comments section. Let's all enjoy this wonderful drink together.

Finally, I’d like to encourage you to get out there yourself. Whether you’ve decided to drink alcohol or not, why not make your next round a lime and soda so you too can chug your way through an exciting bubbled filled, green tinged taste sensation, regardless of how odd it tastes or how much you've paid for it.