Sunday night poem

It's been an interesting time recently. There are potential upcoming changes in my life, adding to the period of change that 2023 has been for me so far. With change, and thoughts about change, come decisions and, for me at least, thoughts about decisions. Often incessant thoughts about decisions. Apparently it's called rumination and I'm no stranger to it. 

Change often means leaving something behind or giving something up, hopefully for the better. However, my experience of change has not always felt like that. 

I wrote this poem about that and I'm sharing it here because I think it's become relevant in my life again. Happy Sunday. 

I just want you back, maybe

Or not at all

Can’t decide which one to choose

So looks like it’s your call

I know it was me who uttered the fatal words

"Hey, we need to talk"

Now a few months down the line

I just can't walk that walk

Nor can I stay on the road

That we were trundling down

I knew then something had to change

Has it happened now?

I’m almost sure that I’m still the same

As I was those months ago

And even now I feel like crap

I think I still have some hope

That we might be the ones for us

We can build a happy life

That you’re the mother of my kids

Maybe even my wife

But nagging doubt it still persists

It is forever there

Like my reckless indecision

It haunts me year on year.