Date: December 2023
I would like to begin this review by acknowledging that I am not the first critic to visit this pub or gastropub or restaurant or whatever mix of those it is. I have been beaten to it by esteemed Guardian restaurant reviewer, Grace Dent of Cumbria.
However, please be assured dear Reader that this blog is in no way derivative of that review and will not proceed to make all the same observations and jokes in a desperate attempt to piggyback off the clout of someone much more famous than I, and finally push this page beyond the 10 views per post mark.
In fact, I will absolutely refuse to accept any accusations of copycatting in the comments. After all, how are any potential foodies, or even those who “just want fish and chips” (Dent, 2023), supposed to know what to wash down their Berkswell sheep’s mousse with if no one is going to evaluate the options?
The Kirkstyle Inn is in a place called Slaggyford in Northumberland. I came here with a couple of friends after a day’s hiking around the town of Alston, just a few miles south. One of the guys I was with was actually asked whether we were going to Slaggyford just for its name. No, I don’t get it either. We were going for the food, silly. And the lime and soda too, obviously.
The pub has been here since the 18th century and is situated in the pretty spectacular surroundings of the North Pennines. Not to delve too much into my own origin story but, despite growing up not too far away in Newcastle, I had never really been to the North Pennines until I moved back here as an adult. It’s an epic place. Rugged, bleak, a bit hostile but fantastically empty and incredibly beautiful when the rain isn’t smashing you sideways in the face.
On the day we went, there had been snowfall and the view outside the pub window was incredible; rolling hills lightly dusted with white snow. Inside the fire was roaring and the conversation flowing. Quite the setting.
Grace Dent isn’t wrong, the food is fantastic. I do actually recommend the Berkswell sheep’s mousse, it’s very creamy. Well worth it after a long hike.
None of this is really relevant to this blog though so how about we get to the good bit?
A refresher and a reward
Appearance: The lime and soda here doesn’t need a pint glass. It is served in an eloquent highball glass as though it were an exquisite cocktail, transporting you from Slaggyford to St. Kitts and Nevis or somewhere similarly tropical. It glinted with green cordial, evenly distributed among the soda and came with fresh lime as standard, but what else would you expect of a critically acclaimed restaurant? Beautifully executed.
Taste: It was supremely refreshing. A subtle bouquet of fresh and cordial lime flowering on the tongue. It didn’t require a stir but I did it anyway and that merely enhanced the flavour. A drink to accompany any dish, whether rabbit terrine or steak and chips.
Price: £1.50, which isn’t bad really. Appealing to both the Top 50 Gastropubs set and those who just love a good country boozer. A price befitting a pub which offers a top class three course meal for just £30.
To borrow a phrase, this pub is definitely worth the detour for. I’d recommend a trip to this part of the North Pennines in general. Come, hike the hills, eat the food, drink a refreshing lime and soda then try not to fall asleep with satisfaction on the drive home. The perfect day.
So there you have it, a totally original blog, not at all plagiarised. To prove it, I’ve posted a link to Grace Dent’s review below so you can compare notes (thanks Grace for the inspiration xoxo).
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