The Black Bull, Benton, NE7

 Date: May 2025

Spring has sprung in Newcastle upon Tyne and May has brought with it fantastic weather, as well as fears of a drought. I’ve been making up for that myself this month by ensuring that my own liver has been well and truly watered mainly as a result of the many bank holidays. 

Tonight’s excuse for a trip to the pub is down to my hockey club’s AGM, which took place nearby. 

Hockey is the main reason why I have been making my way very slowly through the lime and sodas of the suburb of Benton, which the local government pedant in me feels compelled to point out is actually in North Tyneside, an entirely different local authority area to Newcastle.

As my hockey club is based near here and we often find ourselves in one of the pubs on the Four Lane Ends strip (™) after training or matches. 

An AGM is a pivotal event in any organisation. A time for looking back on the past and gazing towards the future. This ying/yang balance of reflection and projection can bring with it a mix of emotions of which all present must be mindful. In this evening’s case that aspect of  mindfulness was made much easier by the copious amounts of pizza I ate before the meeting started, which gave me quite the indigestion. It’s hard to be too wistful for what’s gone or longing for what might be when your digestive system is trying to rearrange itself inside you.

Still, after new captains had been picked and new committee members voted in, several of us went to The Black Bull to talk over the evening’s events. 

I started with a solitary pint of Greene King IPA but one was enough so I opted for a lime and soda next. It was around this time that a member of bar staff came and asked us to review the pub on Google. As the subject turned to reviews, it was pointed out that we had a renowned reviewer among the group; yours truly. This is not the first time this season that this blog has been outed to members of my hockey club. It seems the secret is well and truly out. So much so that I fear I may someday have to actually leave Blogger and buy a domain name.

This review is therefore dedicated to those who were there that night. If you’re reading (and why wouldn’t you be), I hope this has proved a reasonable distraction from the work you probably should be doing right now. 

Appearance: It came in a coke glass. The last few reviews have mentioned this so I can only assume that lime and soda is no longer served in traditional pint glasses. This could mean either that the nation’s favourite, refreshing pub beverage is finally receiving recognition on par with the colas and lemonades of this world, and is therefore firmly classed as a soft drink… or it could mean that pint glasses are increasingly getting nicked for the novelty value of serving someone a pint of water when they visit you at home. If readers have other theories, please pop them in the comments below. 

As for the drink in the glass, it was practically colourless and barely looked like it had any lime in it. It was very clear, limes don’t grow on the trees of Benton. It was, however, garnished with a black straw making it about as black and white as a lime and soda can get. We are in Newcastle after all (well, North Tyneside).

Taste: Despite the appearance, a quick stir did give rise to some lime flavour upon first sip and the limey taste remained pretty consistent throughout. My biggest gripe is that, much like our men’s 1s season, the straw fell apart and I had to discard it partway through. All in all it was decent.

Price: My team captain bought this for me so I can’t comment on the cost. It is worth thanking him though both for this drink and for being part of a third team defence that kept 15 clean sheets out of 26 games in 2024/25. 

This was my first season playing as a goalkeeper in about 13 years and I am eternally grateful to him and my other teammates for taking notice of me back in September when I gave them my golden rule for the season: don’t let them shoot at me. You can’t buy camaraderie like that. 

With the end of any season, there will inevitably be change. The reason we were asked to review the pub is because The Black Bull itself is about to go through an end of season change - colloquially known as a refurb - and will reopen again in six weeks under new management. We were told that most of the staff will be keeping their jobs, so if you’re ever in North Tyneside why not drop in, say hello and see for yourself what that change might bring. 

As for the hockey club, players will leave and players will arrive but because of nights like tonight it'll still be here in a year’s time. And because of this blog, I’ll still be drinking lime and soda. 

The Beresford Arms, Whalton, NE61

Date: November 2024

It’s back to Greenwich Mean Time here in the North East of England as the dark nights roll us into the late stages of autumn and on to winter. 

The day I visited The Beresford Arms was a very grey Sunday. That type of permagrey that can rest over the UK at this time of year and set in for what feels like forever. It’s the type of weather when, although there is no fog, you feel as though you can barely see more than a few metres in front of you, and what you can see is so drab and lifeless that it ceases to possess the meaning you associate with it in your mind. Things become nothing but objects, resting silently until spring, when blue sky and sun return to reanimate them again.

My friend described autumn as watching someone die. That is why he prefers winter. He said it was more comforting to live with something that’s already dead than have to watch the last vestiges of life seep away from something you once felt for.

It was in a mood in part shaped by these surroundings that I visited this pub, on the way back from a walk with said friend around nearby Bolam Lake. 

To add to that, I'd spent the previous week cooped up in the house with covid feeling pretty ill. All that time alone in the house will get you thinking. So will feeling unwell. If you’re not careful, you can begin to question your life choices in too fine a detail.

This walk was the first time I’d both been outside in the fresh air and in the company of another person for a while and I spent most of it chewing over the whats and the whys of life, with occasional stops to catch the breath that had left me behind thanks to infection with a respiratory virus. My poor friend was very patient. 

Existential navel gazing is something I am far too familiar with (the pop psychologist in me often thinks that this whole blog is an attempt to resolve an existential crisis within me), however I'm not sure there is a better time for this practice than on a dreary Sunday in early November, recovering from illness whilst walking laps around a man made lake somewhere in the countryside. If you know of one, please let me know.

So as we stepped into The Beresford Arms,  described here by the Visit Northumberland as “an idyllic haven, where timeless charm converges with contemporary comfort”, it was exactly that which I was looking for to gently coax me back to reality after time spent in the existential mist. The roaring log fire made for a promising start, as did the available seats right beside it. I ordered drinks from the friendly bar staff and settled in for refreshment.

 

Appearance: The lime and soda came in a Pepsi glass. Not uncommon but not classic. Contemporary comfort indeed. As my friend pointed out, it had a good colour, especially in the orange glow of the fire. The green of the cordial really came through. On the top of the dancing bubbles bobbed a slice of fresh lime. The perfect garnish. This place is doing it right. 

Taste: It didn’t take much mixing, just a gentle swirl of the glass and the flavours fell seamlessly into each other. On the first sip, the cordial was tangy but not overbearing. Certainly not artificial tasting. With another, it had just the right hint of lime flavouring to suggest the essence of “modern elegance” that this pub gives off. Would you get this in a city centre boozer? No, of course not, but we weren’t in a city centre boozer, we were in rural Northumberland. It’s the kind of lime and soda that would be the perfect pairing for the incredible looking Sunday roasts, which the staff were delivering to hungry customers all throughout our visit. It was very refreshing.

Price: A half pint of cider and a lime and soda came to £5.20 so I’d take a guess and say that this place isn’t the cheapest for lime and soda lovers, but it was worth it.

One of the lighter discussions we’d had on the drive up to Bolam Lake was about our favourite pubs in Newcastle and the surrounding area. As we passed this pub and decided we’d stop there on the way back, we both wondered aloud if this would make it to the list. 

I’ll let you be the judge but I’d certainly recommend it, particularly if you’re looking for a Sunday session to reinvigorate you when it’s pub weather outside. A preceding existential crisis is not necessary.

The Benton Ale House, Longbenton, NE7

Date: January 2024

Happy Dry January to all of those taking part. I myself am participating in damp January, which means I am virtue signalling only when the occasion suits. 

I have only been to the pub three times this year so far and imbibed on just one occasion so it’s been more like light moisture January as opposed to the kind of liquid ingress that will give you second thoughts about buying a property.

My trip to The Benton Ale House was actually my first pub visit of the year. It was a Thursday evening in the first week of January. A time for true pub lovers (or pub others) to cling desperately on to the merriment of the festive period (or avoid whatever is going on at home). 

The pub was surprisingly lively given the time of year and the activities among the clientele were varied. In one corner there was a serious looking pool tournament, in another a group of people playing what I was told is a Chinese board game, and on the telly there was a FA Cup game between Crystal Palace and Everton. 

The decor was also somewhat eclectic. The pub has Newcastle United flags on the walls as well as old school booths. The bar extends around both sides of the pub. It feels a bit like stepping back in time but in a good way. This is a proper pub for all sorts.

Possessing the resolve of a person in their first week of dry January, I resisted the temptation to get a beer and ordered a lime and soda before joining my group. My trepidation at passing up the opportunity to sample an ale at the Ale House was soon put at ease by a very friendly bartender who did something I have never before witnessed and doubt I shall witness again in all my years of reviewing the nation’s favourite: she offered to top up my lime cordial no questions asked, if I found it was too weak. What hospitality!

Appearance: It came in a soft drink glass (Pepsi, I think), one with the curves. Still a pint though. No fresh lime, this isn’t that kind of place. It looked green enough and the colour was much improved by a stir with a straw, as recommended by the friendly bartender, demonstrating her knowledge of the game.

Taste: It was a little lacking in flavour initially so after I’d had a couple of sips over some light conversation, I went back to the bar to ask for the no lime no fee top up. Turns out it was a legit  offer and the friendly bartender duly obliged and added extra cordial without hesitation. 

Price: £1.65. I thought this was a little pricey given this has the feel of a no nonsense boozer but given January, inflation and the added top up, I’d say that’s a fair price for a lime and soda in 2024.

As I enjoyed my refreshingly refreshed lime and soda, I reflected on the year ahead over an attempt at understanding the rules to the Chinese board game (“Go” for those interested: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Go_(game)). I’m hoping to continue this blog throughout the year and write reviews from new places, not just in London and the North East but also other cities in the UK. Maybe I’ll expand on the more creative writing element of this that I threatened in the late summer but rest assured, I won’t forget my roots (or limes)!

I hope your year has started well and you’re winning so far (much like I was at the board game I didn’t understand). Here’s to a good year of good pub times, strong cordial and plenty of free top ups when needed.

Here’s to a great 2024!

Akenside Traders, Dean Street, NE1

Date: December 2023

“It was Christmas Eve, babe

And in the Akenside

A barman said to me

Here’s your lime and soda.”

Two things. One, please forgive me for the above riff on a Christmas classic (R.I.P Shane). Two, it wasn’t Christmas Eve, but it was mid-December when I visited Akenside Traders, which sits on Dean Street, just up from the Quayside in Newcastle. I was killing time between the end of the work day, grabbing something to eat and heading to a carol service at St. Nicholas’ Cathedral.

The weather outside really was frightful. It was disgustingly wet and even after a short walk from the office down to the river, I was drenched through. Despite this, the city was starting to fill up with the Christmas party crowd. Groups of mostly middle-aged people were dashing into the bars and pubs determined to make merry despite the conditions. 

With the water soaking through my shoes and into my socks and 45 mins to spare, I decided to seek shelter in the warmth of the pub to revel in the merriment myself. It felt a bit strange to be sitting by myself among various groups of jolly people, a little isolating even. However, one of the things I like best about the British pub is that, in general, all are welcome, regardless of the circumstances. A lesson that we would do well to apply in other aspects of our society. In fact, and I appreciate this is a bit of a stretch for a lime and soda review blog, this seems to me to be the essence of the message of Christmas.

So I entered the pub, felt the blast of warm air on my face, and went straight to the bar to order my drink. The bartender was incredibly friendly, which I imagine isn’t an easy thing to be at this time of year for someone in the hospitality industry. In fact, their generosity was extended beyond warm season’s greetings, as they whacked out the full bottle of lime cordial and performed an amazing free pour on the bar right in front of my eyes. I’ve genuinely never seen anything like it before. It felt like an early Christmas gift. With soda water added along with a fresh lime garnish, I paid and took my beverage to a seat next to a radiator and directly in front of the Christmas tree. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire it wasn’t but my feet certainly felt a lot toastier. 

Appearance: This lime and soda looked incredibly green. I imagine that was a result of the very generous free pour of cordial. Unfortunately, the cordial had all congealed at the bottom of the pint glass so I knew it would require a stir before I could give it a fair taste test. 

Taste: It was ok. The stir did little to enhance the flavour and it mostly just tasted like soda water with a hint of lime cordial. The cordial itself tasted a little chemically. The sweetness of the cordial did come through as I reached the bottom of the glass where most of the cordial had gathered, despite my many stirring attempts. However, this proved to be a bit overpowering as the flavouring was incredibly saccharine.

Price: 50p. Cheap and cheerful, much like the pub itself. 

Overall, it did a job. As was clear from the other clientele, you can have a very good time in the Akenside. As for myself, I wouldn’t say it was a lime and soda to remember but that’s not always what this is about. Sometimes you just want shelter from the storm outside. The Akenside on this night provided that in abundance. I hope you all find your shelter whatever you are up to this Christmas, dear readers.

Merry Christmas!

The Kirkstyle Inn and Sportsman's Rest, Slaggyford, CA8

Date: December 2023

I would like to begin this review by acknowledging that I am not the first critic to visit this pub or gastropub or restaurant or whatever mix of those it is. I have been beaten to it by esteemed Guardian restaurant reviewer, Grace Dent of Cumbria. 

However, please be assured dear Reader that this blog is in no way derivative of that review and will not proceed to make all the same observations and jokes in a desperate attempt to piggyback off the clout of someone much more famous than I, and finally push this page beyond the 10 views per post mark. 

In fact, I will absolutely refuse to accept any accusations of copycatting in the comments. After all, how are any potential foodies, or even those who “just want fish and chips” (Dent, 2023), supposed to know what to wash down their Berkswell sheep’s mousse with if no one is going to evaluate the options?

The Kirkstyle Inn is in a place called Slaggyford in Northumberland. I came here with a couple of friends after a day’s hiking around the town of Alston, just a few miles south. One of the guys I was with was actually asked whether we were going to Slaggyford just for its name. No, I don’t get it either. We were going for the food, silly. And the lime and soda too, obviously. 

The pub has been here since the 18th century and is situated in the pretty spectacular surroundings of the North Pennines. Not to delve too much into my own origin story but, despite growing up not too far away in Newcastle, I had never really been to the North Pennines until I moved back here as an adult. It’s an epic place. Rugged, bleak, a bit hostile but fantastically empty and incredibly beautiful when the rain isn’t smashing you sideways in the face.

On the day we went, there had been snowfall and the view outside the pub window was incredible; rolling hills lightly dusted with white snow. Inside the fire was roaring and the conversation flowing. Quite the setting.

Grace Dent isn’t wrong, the food is fantastic. I do actually recommend the Berkswell sheep’s mousse, it’s very creamy. Well worth it after a long hike. 

None of this is really relevant to this blog though so how about we get to the good bit?

                             A refresher and a reward

Appearance: The lime and soda here doesn’t need a pint glass. It is served in an eloquent highball glass as though it were an exquisite cocktail, transporting you from Slaggyford to St. Kitts and Nevis or somewhere similarly tropical. It glinted with green cordial, evenly distributed among the soda and came with fresh lime as standard, but what else would you expect of a critically acclaimed restaurant? Beautifully executed. 

Taste: It was supremely refreshing. A subtle bouquet of fresh and cordial lime flowering on the tongue. It didn’t require a stir but I did it anyway and that merely enhanced the flavour. A drink to accompany any dish, whether rabbit terrine or steak and chips. 

Price: £1.50, which isn’t bad really. Appealing to both the Top 50 Gastropubs set and those who just love a good country boozer. A price befitting a pub which offers a top class three course meal for just £30.

To borrow a phrase, this pub is definitely worth the detour for. I’d recommend a trip to this part of the North Pennines in general. Come, hike the hills, eat the food, drink a refreshing lime and soda then try not to fall asleep with satisfaction on the drive home. The perfect day. 

So there you have it, a totally original blog, not at all plagiarised. To prove it, I’ve posted a link to Grace Dent’s review below so you can compare notes (thanks Grace for the inspiration xoxo).

https://www.theguardian.com/food/2023/jul/07/kirkstyle-inn-slaggyford-northumberland-grace-dent-restaurant-review 

Sunday night poem

It's been an interesting time recently. There are potential upcoming changes in my life, adding to the period of change that 2023 has been for me so far. With change, and thoughts about change, come decisions and, for me at least, thoughts about decisions. Often incessant thoughts about decisions. Apparently it's called rumination and I'm no stranger to it. 

Change often means leaving something behind or giving something up, hopefully for the better. However, my experience of change has not always felt like that. 

I wrote this poem about that and I'm sharing it here because I think it's become relevant in my life again. Happy Sunday. 

I just want you back, maybe

Or not at all

Can’t decide which one to choose

So looks like it’s your call

I know it was me who uttered the fatal words

"Hey, we need to talk"

Now a few months down the line

I just can't walk that walk

Nor can I stay on the road

That we were trundling down

I knew then something had to change

Has it happened now?

I’m almost sure that I’m still the same

As I was those months ago

And even now I feel like crap

I think I still have some hope

That we might be the ones for us

We can build a happy life

That you’re the mother of my kids

Maybe even my wife

But nagging doubt it still persists

It is forever there

Like my reckless indecision

It haunts me year on year.

Poetry for a Friday afternoon

I said it was coming and then posted another lime and soda review just to be controversial but finally here it is, some creative writing. Starting with two poems I wrote about very different Friday afternoons I have had this year. 

Read, enjoy, please don't laugh.

Friday 1

Thatched roof

Sunshine

Green grass

Fine wine

South Coast

Holiday

Real life

Getaway

Friday 2

Sunshine Friday

Stuck inside

Work laptop on the desk

Tea stains on the carpet 

Is this really me at my best?